Wriiten by Dr Liberty.

The below was in response to a readers rant of making fun of Morgan County's poeple and the county in general.

Dear Reader

You certainly don't have the skills of a salesman but thats OK. Reading your thoughts I started down the road to what some may term "Morgan Co Inferiority Depression Syndrome" or "MIDS" and as I got closer to MIDS I began to understand your point and where you may be coming from and thats what I would like to address.

The place were all these negatives live is also the source of the infection agent suspected in the cause of MIDS. In all my years of extensive medical and mental research I have found only two common denominators that effect all of Morgan County's residents and those would be Mold and MIDS. That may remind you of a jingle but we won't start that here. I have been working in the laboratory on some remedies for MIDS but unless we re-route the river we may be stuck with the Mold thing.

While working in the lab late one night Egore came up with an idea to help with personal depression. After many hours of experimentation and testing I have found a way to combat a low self esteem issues. Even though no prominent Medical publication will accept my findings for publish I will share them with the community. I call it : " Walmart Affirmation Therapy " or " WAT " for short.

WAT is a simple to follow therapy that anyone can do and only requires desire and one hour of shopping. As a Morgan County resident I can testify that it works for me and I recommend it for every one. Just follow the instruction below and at the end of the hour WHAM BABY you are felling pretty good about yourself.

1. First find a Walmart ( Super center preferred. )

2. Pick a good cart with smooth rolling wheels.

3. Start you journey by strolling up and down each isle way slowly and look like you aren't watching where you are going.

4. Up and down, up and down and when you start to pass a lady's cart ...Bamm. You bump into it. Say.. " oh I'm sorry". She'll say YOUR FINE. yep almost 100% of the time. Of course if you are a woman you would want to pick a mans cart to hit. ( this is very important to maximize the desired results )

5. Make sure you do this at least once a minute. Grocery area nets the highest traffic for this therapy.

6. At the end of the hour put your cart up and step outside , stopping at the entrance and consider that 60 women just told you how fine you are. Or if you are a woman 60 men just told you how fine you are.

Do that twice a week for 4 weeks and it's a Scientifically Proven fact you will feel much different about things when you look in the mirror.

Now for Morgan County.... you may try at your next WAT session to say when your carts hit " I'm sorry , I'm from Morgan County " . This may net some good feelings about where you live also. If you get negative feed back then maybe that will inspire you to move somewhere you would rather live and not feel the need to put down.

Best Regards,

Dr. Liberty

P.S. All the other things you said about Morgan County are from the view point of someone infected with MIDS. Until appropriate therapy has been completed I won't be able to address your opinion further.

.

Comments

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Anonymous   |2010-06-09 23:12:28 I think I've experienced this without knowing why Reply 0   0

Anonymous   |2010-02-19 18:53:19 i know what you mean Reply 0   0

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